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By: Tundé Jr., Adébayo

Obviously, all students are well versed with the subject love. One who might have not felt it before must have heard so much account about the dynamic nature of the complex feeling simply called ‘LOVE’. And those who have had the grace to truly feel this emotion have two things involved, if it has remained sweet up until the moment of reading… then it is amazing and the best feeling one could ever feel. Happiness of attachment, addiction of affection and obsessive passion and shockingly satisfying.

But if it is the other way around, ‘well if you have chopped breakfast’ well, I can simply say sorry, I know how you feel. The despair, strong pain without any scars to show for it. The void, you know, the emptiness that breaks the will to go further. Often it can lead to depression and the death of hope to love again. And if you are a strong lover with overthinking tendencies… the will to move on.

On that horrifying note, you must be wondering how this affects academics. After all, love is a natural phenomenon and academics, well, is a worldly attachment. Truth is learning is also a way of life. All functions within the brain; a section is dedicated to emotions which deals with love, indifference, hate, anger, pain, happiness, dissent, melancholy etc. and another is for language, numbers and ultimately, memories.

Sadly, formal education in Nigeria isn’t really a test of intelligence or knowledge but a test of remembrance. Why? The easy way to succeed in Nigeria educational system is to cram and pour. And you get your distinction. That is, memories!

The human mind works like a computer hardware all the aforementioned section merged together in the cerebral hemisphere and cerebrum and while emotions serves as the operating system. We are emotional animals, we humans. All our lives we search for happiness and satisfaction and we would stop at nothing to get it. The best way to get satisfaction is to have fulfillment, and in the world order, the best way one can succeed is to study, pass and become rich. It doesn’t stop there, it also involves falling in love with a special someone, build a family, watch your children grow and succeed. Life doesn’t go further than these two paths. And the two bedrocks are love and study!
Now, to go to my point. This two way of life might seem parallel to each other, but rather unfortunately (or fortunately… depending on how your love story is going) they are intertwined. You do well in academics, you’re very likely to be happy to give love a chance. Or if you do well in love, you will be in the best frame of mind to succeed.

That is just focusing on the positives. Just imagine being in love with your partner of 3 years. Let us say from your ND 2 days, and in just before your final examinations, he/she says, “Hey Dolapo, I can’t express how much I regret doing this. I like you, you know I like you… but I have to let you go. I can’t keep holding on to you while I am not happy. I have not been for a while now. I have to go; I love someone else. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. And I pray you find someone who could love you like I could not.”

Shocker… right? Yeah, you will be held down with shock and confusion for weeks. Then the emptiness and loneliness sets in. Then your whole world comes crashing down just as the despair and loss of hope sets in. and before you know it, you’ve not only failed to prepare for examination. But you’ve failed and gotten an extra-year.

All your hopes on the brink of crashing down; a sad disappointment to your father, a visual pain to your mother; a bad example to your siblings and the laughing stock of your peers. Why? All because Feranmi placed her happiness before yours. Well, truth is I am all for growth and I actually cannot blame Feranmi for being unreasonable. Everyone cannot kiss it better like I can. And fact is, more than 80% of the world population does not care about others’ feelings.

Alright, let’s look at another analogy. Rahmat is freshman, she had been an introvert due to stern upbringing by her conservative parents. Now, she is an avid fan of Telemundo, and a hopeless romantic. She yearns for the feeling and finally hopes that her newfound freedom as a student would give her the love of her life, Her Diego.

And the story goes, she wears her hearts on her sleeves and she was in search of a boy who meets her criteria. An interesting thing, but her mind is split, Rahmat was a prodigy in secondary school, her parents expects nothing less than an upper credit, and fact is she is actually capable of scoring a distinction, she is a genius. But her quest for love makes it hard for her to focus. And when she did get lucky enough to acquire a boy that seemingly fit her standard, he turns out to be the devil in disguise. He torments her mentally till she gets broken to his will, a manipulator that takes advantage of her naïve impression about love and damages her.

The damage wasn’t just emotional; she had been bent with exploitation that she cannot even focus on studying. Sad, Rahmat barely made upper, her father was disappointed indeed. All because she wanted to satisfy a selfish manipulator. An unfair world truly…

On the bright side, however, if your love story turns out well, with a bit of reason, then you can be on top of the world. Now, there is this lame saying that ‘Behind every successful man, is a woman.’ I suppose there must be an element of truth to this saying, right?

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